Trump Advisor Fired over Lack of Ties to Russia
November 17, 2017 | An unnamed Trump administration advisor has been fired after it was discovered late last Friday that he lacked any ties to Russian President Vladimir Putin or any Russian oligarchs. The advisor commented under the condition of anonymity, “I grew up and went to an Ivy League school here in the States. I worked hard and played the stock markets and it put me in the position where I could successfully join the Trump administration as an economic advisor. Unfortunately, when I sought contact with Russia they rebuked my offers.” When asked why he believed this was, he simply replied, “I don’t have any idea. I worked hard, I paid my dues, but Russia wasn’t interested in anyone who didn’t have their last name on a building.”
An administration spokesperson responding to questions about the incident simply replied, “I’ll have to check what his responsibilities were, but it seems he was probably just some intern who makes coffee. The president is very excited for the money the taxpayers are being saved on payroll because of this move.” This disappointing staffing decision by the Trump administration stands in a long list of failed appointments including the disgraced Secretary of Health and Human Services, Tom Price. We will update this story as we receive more information.
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Julian Strachan is pursuing a Master's in Strategic Studies at Johns Hopkins University.
Photo: putin bw wink by Jedimentat44 for Flickr.